Erica did not appear to be shaken by that question which had come out of seemingly nowhere.
【”Why are you asking such a thing?”】
【”I’m curious, that’s all. You denied that you’re Harold’s fiancee, so I was wondering if maybe that was because there was someone else you liked.”】
【”That’s not the case. It’s just that there is too big a difference between the values and ways of thinking of Harold and I.”】
【”So you’re saying that you two just can’t be together?”】
【”That’s right.”】
Erica was particularly quick to share her opinions openly when it came to speaking about Harold, that was why Lifa figured that Erica was actually putting on a front in order to camouflage her feelings.
Moreover, that camouflage was hardly flawless. Or at least, it was bad enough that it made Lifa doubt whether Erica’s words of rejections towards Harold were actually real. And yet, Liner and Colette did not seem to have noticed anything at all… But Lifa made do by telling herself that “Well, it’s probably because they’re too pure”.
【”…I don’t want to try to persuade you or anything, but there is something I’d like to tell you, will you hear me out?”】
【”I am listening, you have all my attention.”】
“Thanks” After saying that, Lifa took several seconds before she started speaking again.
【”You see, I’m quite the eccentric person. Back when I was living in my village, even my own family had shunned me, and I didn’t fit anywhere. Well, that’s only natural since I used to only study without ever actually working.”】
Lifa was openly speaking of her past, which she had not even told Harold about.
【”At first, I started studying because I wanted to change this world where people who have no talent in magic have no other choice than living in poverty. If, through science, even someone who cannot use magic properly becomes able to use spells which aren’t inferior to the spells of those who were born with talent, then the world… No, actually, I hadn’t thought things through that far. But I still felt it would be great if my family and village could become wealthy.”】
【”But, although I don’t know when exactly it happened, my feelings on the matter changed at some point. Looking at my family and village who had abandoned me because of my devotion to science, I started thinking that… Well, in short, I became stubborn. So, when I hit a wall and found myself in a bind, I did a lot of unreasonable things.”】
【”It was at that time that I happened to came across that guy. I left the worst impression on him in our first meeting, and I kept telling him offensive things. I guess that was mostly because of the gossips about him, but still.”】
【”…That guy, he didn’t laugh at my efforts. Now that I think about it, he probably had some ulterior motives, and I did end borrowing the help of Justus, too, which is pretty annoying, but ultimately, it’s because Harold reached his hand to me that I was able to move forward.”】
【”…I was saved by Harold. Even if he had ulterior motives, that fact won’t change.”】
【”… I see you have got a lot of trust from Harold-sama, Lifa-san.”】
【”Trust, huh…”】
From the outside, it would certainly seem like one could trust and rely on Harold’s aberrant fighting strength and such. No matter who his opponent was, he would never be defeated easily in battle, but putting her trust in him on that aspect was too much since his lifespan was being lowered by that sword of his, as for…
(Wait, no. Just now, Erica said that I got trust “From” him, not “for” him…. why would she put it like that―― ?)
【”Ah…”】
【”I have no idea why, but Harold’s trying to keep his distance from you. You’re aware of that, right?”】
【”Yes, of course I am.”】
【”And that’s the reason why you seem to dislike Harold. Because Harold wants you to dislike him.”】
【”I suppose I would have to think twice before saying that that’s not the case, this is the only answer I can give.”】
【”You can keep making up excuses, but you should just be frank and admit the truth straightforwardly.”】
【”Even if I do that, I’m afraid you won’t understand it, Lifa-san.”】
【”There is one thing I’d like to make clear, it’s that Harold doesn’t particularly trust me. I only got to accompany him by being unreasonably pushy, he actually didn’t want me to come, so much so that he threatened me to stop me from following him.”】
But, although she might have been an annoyance to Harold, Lifa still knew that her intervention hadn’t been useless since she had played a part in solving the miasma problem.
【”Also, Erica, do you know why Harold’s trying so hard to keep his distance from you?”】
After pulling herself back from her irritation, Lifa kept her line of questioning going.
【”That’s because he believes that no good would come from the two of us being linked to each other. But, as for what he’s specifically concerned about, I…”】
【”…I want to ask you one more question.”】
【”What is it?”】
【”What do you think of Harold? I’d like you to tell me what you truly feel.”】
【”….I love Harold-sama. And I’ve been in love with him since I was a child.”】
【”That means you know that he’ll do anything for his goals, right?”】
【”Yes, I’m well aware.”】
【”Sure, Harold is very capable and I believe he’s a man who can pull off what no normal person can do. But he’s only human, just like us. So it only makes sense that even he can be wrong and make mistakes at times, right?”】
【”…This is hard to hear.”】
【”I think you’re a person who can calmly think things through, Erica, so you should understand my point. I might be saying something you’re already aware of, but it seems to me like you’ve been desperately trying to better yourself because you don’t want to be a burden on him.”】
【”I am… I have no confidence in myself.”】
【”Can I really help Harold-sama? …How could I ever be confident about such a thing?”】
◇
【”I first met Harold-sama eight years ago, I was ten years old back then.”】
【”However, because of a certain matter, I started utterly detesting Harold-sama back then.”】
【”A certain matter?”】
【”At the time, there was a story circulating in the Stokes family’s territory about how Harold-sama had murdered one of his mansion’s employees together with her daughter. And so, I asked him whether that rumor was true. “】
【”All he said was ‘I killed them because they were getting on my nerves’, and ‘They’re my servants, I’m perfectly free to kill them or let them live on a whim’. He also insulted them, saying that servants were an inferior species.”】
Back then, Erica had felt both rage and despair. Being still young, she had found herself unable to manage those intense feelings, not knowing how to blow off her anger.
【”However, his objective was actually to make me believe that. In reality, thanks to Harold-sama’s doing, the servant and her daughter had both survived and escaped from the Stokes family’s territory.”】
【”…That really sounds like something Harold would do.”】
【”Indeed it does, and I eventually came to know about that.”】
【”I see. And all these elements were more than enough for you to fall in love with him, huh.”】
【”Yes, by the time I became aware of it, it was already too late.”】
Well, at first, she had been restraining herself due to her guilty conscience and she had been unable allow herself to actually think that she had fallen in love with him, nevertheless, there was no doubt that that whole matter with the servant and her daughter was the main reason why Erica came to see Harold in a good light.
【”He is always working himself absurdly hard, so I have been doing what I can in order to reduce his burden, even if only a little.”】
【”….However, thinking about it now, I was just taking a passive attitude.”】
If Erica did not want to worry Harold, she should have faced him directly so that the two of them would have been able to understand each other, then she could have put her efforts into building some trust with him, to eventually ask him what role he really wanted her to play. Had she done that, perhaps Harold would not have suffered from such serious wounds on that day.
『Watch over him to see what he’s trying to achieve, support him, stay close to him, and you’ll become able to truly understand him.』
Those were the words that Erica had been offered by her father. She had been putting a lot of effort into accomplishing that, but she was now fully realizing that she had completely failed.
【”How shameful of me…”】
【”Erica…”】
【”Forgive me for complaining like this. Well then, you should go get some rest Lifa-san, it’s getting late.”】
【”But….”】
【”Don’t worry about me, I am fine.”】
【”…I’m not worthy of being by your side.”】
However, that warmth was reminiscent of the deep affection and love that she felt for Harold, and she was afraid, afraid that those feelings were flowing out of her endlessly as she continued to weep quietly, until the sun started rising in the sky.
As for my other projects, sorry for the delays and all, death flags is my priority and I really did not expect the author to release the chapters this week, sorry about that, I’ll get back to translating them starting tomorrow.
Anyway, I hope you’ll have a great day and I’ll see you in the coming days!
