Translator: Paperplane Editor: DarkGem
With the absence of Zhao Meng’s voice, the room became unusually silent.
Qiao Anhao sat extremely quietly on the sofa. Every now and then, her fingers would swipe the iPad screen. For the most part, people said that besides having a cold personality, Lu Jinnian didn’t know how to love or socialize with others. Actually, there weren’t many negative points said online about him, and so the majority of the hate was drawn from his mother’s scandals.
Photographs from old newspapers surfaced of her in a night club drinking with several men, and then there were also… those porn videos. Countless numbers of people shared them. It got so bad, they created memes out of some of his mother’s exaggerated expressions.
Some went as far as to post comments and arguments on the topic which were unbearable to read. Even though Lu Jinnian had a strong fanbase, who would always shout positive words like “no matter what male idols do, they’ll always be our male idols” and “we support you”, they seemed to pale against the slander.
She knew that he was Xu family’s illegitimate son, but had never known who his mother was. Nor did she know about her dark past.
Qiao Anhao thought back to the moment she went to visit Han Ruchu at her home. She remembered the insufferably repetitive and scornful things they said about Lu Jinnian’s mother. Now that so many people online were saying such horrid things, just how awful must he be feeling?
At that thought, Qiao Anhao wished she could hide herself somewhere nobody knew about and take the pain on her own. The pain was so unbearable, it felt like some had ruthlessly thrust a knife into her. She couldn’t help but grab the home phone and try to call Lu Jinnian again, but she was still unable to connect to him.
Qiao Anhao remembered that she saved her contacts onto a software, so she quickly tapped into the downloaded software on her iPad and looked for Lu Jinnian’s assistant’s number. She tried calling the number but his phone was off. She used to live in Mian Xiu Garden, so she had the number already saved on there. She tried calling but there was no answer.
Qiao Anhao was about to call another number when she glanced at the time on her iPad. It was half past three in the morning. With it being so late at night, everyone was probably asleep.
She put down the phone drearily. Having ran out of the hospital, she felt particularly unwell, yet she still wasn’t the least bit sleepy. Every now and then, she’d refresh Weibo on her iPad. The more she looked, the more stifled her heart felt. The feeling was far more unbearable than when she was harassed.
In the end, Qiao Anhao threw her iPad aside to stop the pain. However, she was so distracted that eventually, she angrily kicked her leg up, causing the iPad to fall off the bed. Then she hugged the pillow, and sat in a daze in a corner of the bed.
The rim of her eyes started to grow red for no reason, and she couldn’t help but raise her head and take a deep breath. Her eyes wandered onto the porcelain doll on the shelf that Lu Jinnian had gifted her this year on her birthday.
Qiao Anhao threw her pillow, climbed out of bed, and walked towards the shelf. She stretched her arm out and lightly rubbed the red lips and white teeth. The doll was a small, white porcelain doll with a tender smile, which only made her feel even more pained. She couldn’t help herself and reached with her hands towards the shelf and grabbed for the doll. She didn’t know if it was because her body was weak or if it was because she hadn’t gotten a good hold, but the porcelain doll accidentally fell from her fingertips.
Translator: Paperplane Editor: DarkGem
“Pa-la-“. The porcelain doll shattered onto the hard floor, breaking into tiny sharp pieces that spread far and wide.
Qiao Anhao froze on the spot for half a minute, with her hand suspended in the moment she grabbed for the doll, before she realized what she had done. Her long eyelashes flickered for a moment, and then she crouched on the ground. She stared at the big and small shards in a panic and at a loss.
Her fingertips trembled for a long while, before she hastily reached her hand out to pick the shards up one by one. She tried to piece the doll back to how it looked originally.
However, the shards of porcelain had shattered so bad, Qiao Anhao simply didn’t know where the pieces fit. With one careless move, she accidentally cut her finger on a sharp edge of a shard. As the blood gushed out, she didn’t feel any pain, nor did she stop picking up the pieces. When she picked up the largest piece, she saw a plastic tube with a roll of paper inside among the shattered pieces.
Qiao Anhao furrowed her brows and without conscious thought picked up the piece of paper.
It was a good quality paper and particularly thick. With one pull, the paper unfolded itself. Then, Qiao Anhao saw that the paper was heavily filled with words.
With just one look, she immediately recognized that it was Lu Jinnian’s bold and cursive handwriting that looked natural and fluid.
“First year. The first time we met, she wore a school uniform; a white shirt and blue skirt. In the height of autumn, she had a pink bike, and a blushing face.
Second year. Rainy days weren’t the most beautiful thing, finding shelter under the roof with her was.
Third year. I left half the maths test blank, so I could be her classmate.
Fourth year. I gave her a birthday present with the words ‘Shmily’ carved on the back. Who knows if she noticed…
Fifth year. I gave up on my dream of attending a prestigious university. I gave up all plans of living an ordinary life to go to Hangzhou for her.”
As Qiao Anhao read this part, her hands, which were still holding the paper, started to tremble as she faintly understood what she was reading. The fog beneath her eyes began to coalesce.
“Sixth year. With her single careless step closer, I smelled the soft smell of her hair. It made me stay up all night.
Seventh year. I gave up a monumental, career-changing opportunity for her.
Eighth year. I slept in the same room with her. It was the first time I kissed her and the same year I was awarded my first achievement award. I rushed to Beijing overnight to find that she was engaged to someone else.
Ninth year. I started smoking because of her. I smoked and drank the whole night, alone in my room. I cried for her all night.”
A single tear slowly fell onto the paper, smudging the dry, black ink.
“Tenth year. On many occasions, I secretly hid in a corner as I watched her back a few times.
Eleventh year. After having seen thousands of different women, I always subconsciously compare them to her, and she’s always the best of them all.
Twelfth year. All alone, I silently feel pain when she hurts, and happy when she is so.
Thirteenth year. I made the best decision of my life… to cross paths with her once again.”
Qiao Anhao forcefully bit onto her bottom lip, tears falling hysterically one after the other.
Translator: Paperplane Editor: DarkGem
“After we met again…
I secretly made countless confessions and signals that I didn’t dare let her know.
You like rainy days too?
Paper, Scissors, Rock.
I am only happy with you.
I actually didn’t want to love her… But… I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t convince myself to let go.”
Finally, Qiao Anhao couldn’t hold in her cry any longer and wailed with every image stitched back together in her mind.
His assistant went to her room to tell her that he hadn’t eaten dinner yet, and suggested she go over and bring him something to eat. That night was the very first time there was a good atmosphere between them. She stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows and said in a cheerful voice that it was raining. He asked her, do you like rainy days too?
At Chen Yang’s party, she didn’t want to be punished, and so knowing the flaw in his play, she beat him one game after the other in rock, paper, scissors. She never imagined that Paper, Scissors, Rock, 5,2,0, was the world’s most beautiful confession with hand signs.
When he shot scenes with her, the way he looked into her eyes when he said, ‘I am only happy when I’m with you’… She thought that he was saying ‘This year was only happy because it was spent with you’. She had never dared to hope those words were for her to hear.
At his villa in Mount Yi, they slept together one night. They’d slept innocently together, as she laid in the bed and he slept on the sofa, in poor health. That night, she was so upset when she asked if he’d continue to love the married woman, to which he replied, ‘I actually didn’t want to love her… But… I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t convince myself to let go.’
Qiao Anhao raised her hand and casually wiped away the tears, so she could continue reading.
“She has a beautiful name.
Qiao Anhao.
Every one calls her Xiao Qiao.”
At the very end, there was another line. “Qiao Qiao, I love you. I’ve loved you for thirteen years.”
It was like Qiao Anhao had lost all the strength in her body, falling limp on the ground. With a “waaaa”, she started wailing like a child.
In her previous dreams, she would wonder what she would do if Lu Jinnian fell in love with her one day. In her dreams, she was so sure she’d be in joyful bliss.
But now that her dream came true, she realized that the only way she could release the complicated emotions in her heart was to cry them all out.
She loved him too. She never knew that between the two of them, there were so many misunderstandings.
She liked rainy days, because of him.
She worked hard to go up a class, because of him.
She studied her hardest to get into a prestigious university, also because of him.
She joined the entertainment circle, also because of him.
She agreed to marry Xu Jiamu, also because of him…
There were so many missed chances between them. It looked like they weren’t fated for each other, but their mutual love was the strongest sign on earth.
They actually tried their best to love one another, but they didn’t have the courage to tell each other “I love you”.
Qiao Anhao gripped harder onto the paper, as she cried so hard her whole body shivered.
The only thing that could be heard in the silent room was the endless echoes of her cries.
Qiao Anhao didn’t know how long she cried for, but she cried and cried until she came to a sudden stop. Then, like an idiot, her crying face started to smile. She suddenly got up from the floor and rushed into the changing rooms. After changing her clothes, she fumbled for a bit and rushed out.
She had to go find him.
She had to go find him now.
She wanted to say to him “Lu Jinnian, what a coincidence… I’ve loved you for thirteen years too”.
Translator: Paperplane Editor: DarkGem
Before dawn arrived upon the empty streets of Beijing, humidity levels were high and the weather was cool. There were long intervals between cars driving past. Qiao Anhao stood by the side of the road for an awfully long time before she could hail a taxi. Eventually, she hailed one, got in, and requested to be taken to Mian Xiu Garden.
When the car reached it, she paid the driver and ran out before even collecting her change.
The passcode to Mian Xiu Gardens hadn’t changed.
The place looked as if nobody had visited it in a long time. The fallen flowers on the courtyard floor had become muddy and tattered. As Qiao Anhao stepped on top of them, the leaves produced a crisp, crunching sound.
Qiao Anhao opened the doors and noticed two pairs of slippers placed silently on the shoe closet; one for men, the other for women. The women one was hers, from when she had used to live here, pretending to be husband and wife with Lu Jinnian. After she left, she had left them in a bag and asked him to throw it out, but now the pair was here, back in their original spot. It looked as though the two of them were still living in the house.
The villa was completely empty, no a soul in sight. Just like before, there was a layer of dust on the grandfather clock.
Qiao Anhao ran up the stairs and pushed open the bedroom doors. It was pitch-black inside, and she turned on the lights in disappointment. The first thing she saw was the adult-sized teddy bear she had bought at the center of the tidy bed. She had taken all of her cosmetics with her when she left, but there, in front of the dressing table, were brand new ones of the exact same brands. Even the eyeliner was the same.
That man… though he always had a cold expression on his face, as though he didn’t care about anything, when did he memorize everything she used so clearly?
Qiao Anhao had never known that something like this could make tears suddenly fall.
As though she had an inkling of something, she walked into the changing room. She saw half of the wardrobe filled with his clothes, and the other half with the clothes she’d asked him to throw out for her. Perhaps because the wardrobe wasn’t entirely filled up, or perhaps it was because he wanted to buy her clothes but had no excuse for it, there was a wall full of the latest collections from her favorite brands. The newly bought clothes still had the tags on them.
Qiao Anhao forcefully pursed her lips and moved away to step into the bathroom. The toothpaste, toothbrush, shower gel, cleansing lotion… The things she had used for over half a year whilst living there were all back in their original places.
With her gone, he couldn’t open his mouth to ask her to stay, and so like this, he stubbornly pretended that she was still here.
So it turned out that the person she loved, loved her this much as well. He was so foolish, to love her so foolishly.
—
When Qiao Anhao stepped out of Mian Xiu Garden, the skies were already a little bright. This time, she hailed a taxi to go directly to Huan Ying Entertainment.
On her arrival, nobody had come for work just yet. There was only the night shift’s security guard, who yawned and said “Good morning” to her.
Qiao Anhao sat waiting incredibly patiently in the lobby outside of Lu Jinnian’s office on the top floor.
Having been with him for over half a year, she knew that his lifestyle was very simple. He always spent long hours at the office.
From before seven in the morning to ten, everyone had come to work. All but Lu Jinnian.
Qiao Anhao asked Lu Jinnian’s secretary, but she could only tell her that Chief Lu hadn’t been in the office for a few days now.
Qiao Anhao blanked out for a moment, then suddenly remembered the villa in Mount Yi. She thanked the secretary and rushed downstairs to catch a taxi for Mount Yi.
Translator: Paperplane Editor: DarkGem
From Huan Ying Entertainment, Qiao Anhao left for Mount Yi, which was located in the suburbs. When she arrived, it was already twelve in the afternoon.
Even though it was the middle of the day, the villa in Mount Yi looked like an utopia from another world. The tranquility made you feel at peace.
Since nobody answered the door when Qiao Anhao knocked on it, she entered the passcode that Lu Jinnian had once given her and entered the villa.
All four walls were made of floor-to-ceiling windows, which allowed for the natural sunlight to illuminate the villa with dots of light due to going through the surrounding forest.
Qiao Anhao went up the spiral staircase, straight for the bedroom door.
As before, when no one could find Lu Jinnian, she would always be able to find him here.
This time…
Qiao Anhao stood at the door with an indescribable sense of nervousness in her heart. She took a deep breath, then pushed open the door with trembling hands.
The bedroom was bright and clean. The bed was well made, without any signs of anyone having lain in it.
Surprisingly, Lu Jinnian wasn’t at Mount Yi villa either.
Qiao Anhao furrowed her brows as she rushed into the bedroom, scanning every detail in the changing room and bathroom. Eventually, she walked out in disappointment.
Mount Yi villa was huge, but there weren’t many rooms, which meant that each room was quite big. Qiao Anhao was afraid that Lu Jinnian might be in one of those rooms, so she scanned through every one of them on the second floor.
Apart from the bedroom, other rooms only had decorated walls. There weren’t even any cabinets or beds. However, the room on the far west side had a piano with a piano book on it, and a side table, which had a bunch of papers sprawled on top of it. Qiao Anhao randomly picked one up to find that it was a pencil drawing. Though there weren’t any colors, Qiao Anhao could clearly tell that it was a drawing of her.
A flash of astonishment crossed her eyes as she flipped through all of the sheets of paper. They looked quite old and as though someone had looked through them quite a few times, as they were rough around the edges.
From the clothes in the picture, you could tell they were of her in her middle school uniform. The drawings themselves were of her doing various stuff.
There were drawings of her back, of her side profile, of her immersed in a book, of her sprawled out on the table, asleep, of her dazing outside the classroom window, and there was also one of her smiling in front of her bike…
On the bottom right corner of all the sketches, there was a small line of words that was difficult to spot if one didn’t take a closer look at it. That line contained the date, the words, ‘Lu Jinnian’, and the title: “The Woman I Love”.
When did Lu Jinnian learn to draw? These drawings were all drawn whilst he was in middle school…
Qiao Anhao suddenly remembered that when she used to often pass by his classroom, she would see him with a pencil in hand, drawing something at an alarming speed. At the time, she thought that he was just like her, randomly doodling whilst bored in class. Now that she thought about it, was he drawing her back then?
In those fleeting years of their youth, his efforts had far exceeded her expectations.
Just how much exactly did he do without her knowing about it?
The rims of Qiao Anhao’s eyes started to burn as she stared at those drawings. After a long time had passed, she neatly placed each piece of paper back onto the table, and quietly left the room.
She stepped out of Mount Yi villa and stopped at the doorway. She lifted her head towards the sunshine and took a deep breath.
Lu Jinnian, just where the hell are you?
Translator: Paperplane Editor: DarkGem
Since Qiao Anhao had ran out of the hospital yesterday, she practically hadn’t had any rest or food in her. She was already weak from her severe injury, but now, her face was pale and her entire body was drenched in sweat. She slowly sat down on the stairs in front of the villa, her head buried in her knees as she sat hugging them. Her breathing was unstable.
It was sunny in the midst of autumn. Though the sun wasn’t as blazing as it was in the summer, when it shined on the body, it still felt uncomfortably warm.
Not long after, Qiao Anhao’s white delicate skin tanned till her skin tinged with light red. She wanted to stand up, but her legs hadn’t the strength.
All Qiao Anhao could do was quietly sit on the stairs with her eyes shut, and stabilize her breathing. After a long while had passed, her breathing finally went back to normal. The sun had fallen in the east by that time.
Qiao Anhao pushed herself up with one hand on the stairs, then sluggishly walked out of Lu Jinnian’s villa.
She got here by hailing a taxi, but as Mount Yi was a secluded area, she could only get back to the city by taking the bus.
Qiao Anhao stepped out the gates of Mount Yi neighborhood and walked about two hundred meters east before reaching the bus stop.
The only thing on her mind right now was where Lu Jinnian could be. She was so lost in thought that when the bus stopped in front of her, she was in such a trance, she didn’t even react when the bus driver called her a few times. Then, as though Qiao Anhao had suddenly realized something, she waved over at the bus, but it had already slowly driven further and further away.
Qiao Anhao gloomily lowered her hand and patiently waited for another bus. At that time, she suddenly heard the sound of a car breaking in front of her. The person lowered the car window and cried out to her, “Miss Qiao!”
Qiao Anhao shot her head up to see Lu Jinnian’s assistant. A hint of surprised came across her eyes, and she power walked over to the front of the car.
“Lu Jinnian, where is he?” she asked as she stuck her face through the car window and looked inside. Her head dropped in disappointment when she saw that he wasn’t inside.
The assistant didn’t reply to her question about Lu Jinnian’s whereabouts, but got out of the car, and opened the passenger car door. “Miss Qiao, get in the car first. I’ll take you back to the city.”
Qiao Anhao gave a gentle nod and got into the car.
Seeing the rear view mirror that Qiao Anhao’s complexion looked like she’d been drained of blood, the assistant asked apprehensively, “Miss Qiao, are you not feeling well? You don’t look so well.”
“It’s fine.” Qiao Anhao forced a smile, shook her head, and asked, “Do you know where Lu Jinnian is? Take me to him, okay?”
The assistant ignored Qiao Anhao’s request again and handed her a bottle. “Drink some water.”
Qiao Anhao hesitated for a moment before taking the water, and then said in a low voice, “Thank you.”
The assistant first drove Qiao Anhao back to Lu Jinnian’s Mount Yi villa and closed all of the doors and windows. He even covered all the furniture in white sheets of fabric, and put the bamboo stool and table in the courtyard into the storage room in the villa.
The assistant’s actions indicated that no one was going to visit here ever again… Qiao Anhao’s heart suddenly jumped, and she couldn’t help but ask the assistant whilst he was closing the doors, “Lu Jinnian won’t he be living here anymore?”
Translator: Paperplane Editor: DarkGem
The assistant pushed the door to the villa, and when he was sure it was locked, he turned his head and glanced over at Qiao Anhao. He moved his lips, but looked as though he was hesitant to say something. In the end, he just pulled open the car’s door, and said to Qiao Anhao, respectfully as always, “Miss Qiao, please get in.”
A terrible feeling shrouded Qiao Anhao’s heart as she stood there staring at the assistant with her shivering, colorless lips and pitch-black pupils.
The assistant turned his head and looked towards the lush trees in the distance with a distressed look on his face. After a while, he took a deep breath, and then looked over at Qiao Anhao once again and said, “Miss Qiao, it’s almost dinner time right now. If you don’t mind and you aren’t busy, can I treat you to dinner?”
“Why do you keep avoiding my questions?” Qiao Anhao’s intuition grew stronger. Panic surfaced in her eyes and her lips trembled. She asked, “Is Lu Jinnian mad at me? He doesn’t want to see me, am I right?”
Streams of tears fell from Qiao Anhao’s eyes. Not caring about the etiquette between men and women, she grabbed the assistant’s arm and pleaded, “Tell me, where is he, please? You definitely know where he is. Tell me, please?”
The assistant still felt resentful at heart for Qiao Anhao not turning up at ‘Lijing Pavilion’ and leaving Lu Jinnian to wait so long for her. Though he was always polite, the tone of his voice revealed a hint of ridicule that was difficult to detect. “It’d be great if Mr. Lu could really get angry at you.”
After the assistant said that, he saw Qiao Anhao’s crying face and instantly became softhearted. Eventually, he gave a deep sigh and said, “Miss Qiao, get in the car first. I’ll tell you everything over dinner, okay?”
Qiao Anhao gave a light nod, then lowered her head and got inside.
The assistant also got into the car and started it up.
Once there was some distance between the car and Mount Yi villa, the assistant pulled out two tissues and handed them to Qiao Anhao next to him.
—
When the assistant turned the car into the road where ‘Lijing Pavilion’ was, he asked, “Miss Qiao, do you mind if we go to Lijing Pavilion?”
Qiao Anhao shook her head.
After passing through the traffic lights ahead, the assistant didn’t say a word, just turned into Lijing Pavilion’s parking lot.
Because they hadn’t made a reservation, all the private rooms were booked. In the end, the assistant and Qiao Anhao sat in a secluded area of the lobby.
The waiter came over with the menu, and the assistant handed the it over to Qiao Anhao straight away. “Miss. Qiao, take a look. What would you like to order?”
Qiao Anhao didn’t flip through the menu. She simply told the assistant, “I’m fine with whatever.”
The assistant didn’t press her any further and brought menu back in front of himself and ordered a few light dishes.
They were all dishes Qiao Anhao liked to eat, and so she raised her head in astonishment and glanced over at him. He looked back at her, but pretended it was nothing. He handed the menu back to the waiter with a smile of his face, and added two bottles of beer and a pot of tea.
The tea and beer arrived quickly. The assistant personally poured a cup of tea and pushed it towards Qiao Anhao, then opened a bottle of beer for himself.
Qiao Anhao quietly said “Thank you” and lifted the cup and took a sip of tea.
The assistant didn’t reply, but took a hard gulp of beer.
Translator: Paperplane Editor: DarkGem
The dishes at “Lijing Pavilion” arrived quickly on the table. The exquisite cutlery accompanied with the light dishes looked like it would give anyone an appetite.
The assistant personally pulled off the paper packaging from the chopsticks and passed them to Qiao Anhao. “These are all your favorite dishes. Finish up and we’ll talk.”
Qiao Anhao didn’t pick up the chopsticks. Her lips moved as though she was going to ask something but before she could, the assistant helped did it for her. “You must wonder how I know that these are your favorite dishes right?”
She pulled the corner of her lips, and swallowed the questions she wanted to ask him.
“Mr. Lu told me.” The assistant wore a gentle smile, and took another gulp of beer. He turned his head then and stared at Qiao Anhao. “Eat first, let’s talk after.”
When the assistant said this, he picked up his chopsticks and started to eat.
Qiao Anhao stared at the assistant for quite some time before also picking up the chopsticks, and silently starting to eat something.
These were the dishes she liked to eat, but she didn’t have an appetite. She practically had to force herself to eat.
After about half an hour passed, she finally couldn’t eat anymore and put her chopsticks down. She lifted her head and looked over at the assistant, who had put his chopsticks down earlier and stared out the window, thinking about who knows what. He had finished the two bottles of beer in front of him.
At the sound of Qiao Anhao putting her chopsticks down, he turned his head and asked, “Finished?”
Qiao Anhao gave a gentle nod.
The assistant raised his hand and called the waiter over. He asked for two more bottles of beer. After waiting for the beer to arrive, he poured a cup for himself and downed it. He then pulled out a phone from his pocket and handed it to Qiao Anhao.
A hint of confusion crossed her eyes.
“Didn’t you ask about where Mr. Lu was? You’ll know once you see what’s on the phone.” When the assistant finished speaking, he lowered his head, and poured himself another cup of beer. He took a big gulp.
The assistant’s phone screen lit up with Qiao Anhao’s single tap. She then saw that he meant for her to read an email.
Lu Jinnian had sent him that email.
The email started off by telling him who would be in charge of certain jobs at Huan Ying Entertainment. After that, Lu Jinnian told him vice president Wang would be temporarily in charge of business operations.
The email didn’t end at that. Below, there was a long section where Lu Jinnian wrote personal stuff to his assistant.
“Here are the foods Qiao Qiao likes to eat. When she’s back on set, please tell the crew to cook more of these dishes if they have time.
Her dream is to become the best female actress, so please make preparations for this during the year-end nominations.
The entertainment industry is a little chaotic. It’s not safe for a woman on her own, so please take care of her and don’t let her suffer.
I have a villa in Mount Yi. When you have time, please close the windows, especially the one in the room on the far west, just in case the rain falls through the window and onto the drawings of her on the table. Oh, right. Don’t close the floor-to-ceiling window by the back door of the first floor – Qiao Qiao likes to climb in from there.”
Lu Jinnian had written a lot to the assistant. Qiao Anhao flipped through quite a few pages until she finally reached the end.
Her mind was blank. She couldn’t quite understand what Lu Jinnian meant by sending his assistant this email. Or perhaps, she actually did understand but wasn’t willing to.
Translator: Kingbao Editor: DarkGem
The assistant studied Qiao Anhao. When she finished reading, he chucked down another mouthful of beer. “Miss Qiao, finished reading? Of the forty eight lines, all of them were about you.”
Qiao Anhao’s hands clenched into fists. Staring straight at him, she asked in a low voice, “Where is he?”
A tear dropped down her face, splashing onto the phone screen.
Lu Jinnian’s assistant acted as though she hadn’t said anything. “He made me swear not to tell you anything.”
Another tear formed instantly, but she continued to stare intently at him. “Where’s Lu Jinnian? Where did he go?”
His assistant continued to ignore her. “Honestly, I’ve been with Mr. Lu for so many years and I have never disobeyed him before. I obediently followed his every command, but this time, I can’t take it any longer. Even if he is to blame me afterwards, I still want to tell you some things.”
Qiao Anhao suppressed her tears, shouting, “I’m asking you where is Lu Jinnian? Lu Jinnian! Where is he?”
Qiao Anhao shouted out those three sentences before stopping. Due to her loud voice, she garnered the attention of the passers-by, but since they were seated quite far from the others, no one could hear what she had been saying.
“I don’t know! I wanted to ask you where did he go!” the mild mannered assistant snarled, his eyes turning red. Grabbing onto the beer on the table, he chucked another large mouthful, stopping only when half the cup was gone. Slouching onto the chair, he shut his eyes for a while.When he reopened them, he was visibly calmer. He first apologized to Qiao Anhao, then said standing up, “I’ll bring you somewhere first.”
Qiao Anhao nodded. She stood up and followed behind him.
The assistant led her to the top floor of “Lijing Pavillion”, the room at the very end. He swiped the card to open the door before signaling for Qiao Anhao to enter.
She walked in with Lu Jinnian’s assistant trailing behind her. He pointed to the balcony, signaling for her to go over there.
It was currently night time, and since there weren’t any lights switched on, the balcony was in pitch darkness. Qiao Anhao scanned the surroundings, but all she could see was the stars and the lights from the forbidden palace.
After about five seconds, the balcony suddenly lit up – colorful neon lights flickered continuously from all directions. From them, she could vaguely see a European style dinning table and walked over to it. There was a heart-shaped design made from candles on it, and the inside was filled with Chinese Bellflowers that had already withered.
The candles had been burnt and were left with only half the stick.
The poles around the balcony were decorated with beautiful flowers that had also withered.
Where was this?
Qiao Anhao looked around curiously. Just when she was about to ask what this place was, she caught sight of the lights in front of her.
Translator: Paperplane Editor: DarkGem
All of a sudden, all that was left from the ever-glowing multicolored lights were the warm yellows that read, “Qiao Qiao, can I chase you?”
Startled, Qiao Anhao noticed the other flashing multicolored lights on the wall had also stopped. With one glance, she noticed that the pink lights read, “Qiao Qiao, I’ve loved you for thirteen years”. The blue lights read, “Qiao Qiao, will you be my girlfriend?” , and the largest backdrop was covered in one really long line of white lights, “I am only happy when I’m with you. Qiao Qiao, will you accept my love? If you don’t, I’ll still love you.”
For a long time, Qiao Anhao’s eyes darted back and forth between all four lines of lights. Much later she said, “This…”
“This is what Mr. Lu had especially prepared for you that night of Chinese Valentine’s day.” The assistant didn’t wait for Qiao Anhao to finish asking. He then paused for a a bit and added, “He planned to confess to you that night, here.”
Qiao Anhao remembered how Lu Jinnian had reminded her for days that they had a dinner date together on Valentine’s day. At the time, they weren’t official, but they did things only people in a relationship would do. In her heart, she had been secretly upset about that. Who would have known, he’d actually prepared all this so long ago.
“He was preparing this for a very long time.” The assistant lifted his head and observed the terrace. He then pointed at the withered flowers and said, “He even planned for someone to send you fresh flowers, especially the Bellflowers. He said they were your favorite., and so asked someone to prepare one of each color.”
With those words, Qiao Anhao remembered when Lu Jinnian had come home one night and pointed at a set for a confession scene for a new movie. At the time, he had carefully looked at each item and rashly asked her if she liked them. Sometimes she would nod, and other times, she’d shake her head. She told him that though she didn’t like some things, if the movie was trying to be romantic, then they would be all right. It was that night that she had told him that she liked Chinese Bellflowers.
“That night of Valentine’s day, he sent you many messages to apologize, and said that he’d wait for you right here. And he waited the whole night. When it reached three in the morning, it started to rain heavily, and I told him to get indoors. No matter what, he refused to go inside. He said he told you that he’d wait for you right there.
“You didn’t come, so he didn’t go back. He just sat on that chair, like a statue.” The assistant lifted his hand and pointed at the chair on the right. “That night, he called you so many times and sent you so many messages. In all the years I’ve known Mr. Lu, I’ve never seen him beg anyone, besides you. Time and time again, you were his only exception.
“Sixteen hours. For someone so proud, to wait sixteen whole hours for you… In the end, you still didn’t come.” When the assistant said this, his tone clearly became accusatory. “To me, those sixteen hours were the most grueling. I don’t know how Lu Jinnian could withstand them.
“As long as it was about you, then perhaps even if he had to endure heart-wrenching pain, he’d be more than willing to do so and even treasure the moment.” The assistant let out a light sigh, and continued in a calm voice, “When he could no longer wait for you, he went to find you.
“He went to look for classmates you were close with, and told each and every one of them that they must contact him if they saw you.”
Translator: Paperplane Editor: DarkGem
“Perhaps, he really didn’t want to lose you, so eventually, he went to find your sister, Miss Da Qiao.”
When Qiao Anhao heard this, her mouth opened. Qiao Anxia knew that she was unconscious in the hospital at the time, so if Lu Jinnian went to look for her, then he should have known about that. Why would he be mad at her then?
Before suspicion nestled in Qiao Anhao’s mind, the assistant spoke up again. “Miss Da Qiao didn’t tell Mr. Lu anything, so he waited outside the Qiao family doors for three days and nights.”
Qiao Anxia didn’t tell Ju Linnian where she was. If she had, would she be able to find him now?
A trace of bewilderment crossed Qiao Anhao’s eyes, which later became disbelief. In the end, it turned to pain.
“Miss Qiao, the moment you saw me, you asked where he was. Well, actually, I really don’t know where he is. I’ve looked for the whole day.” There was hint of disappointment and sadness in the assistant’s voice. “I thought that he would be somewhere, waiting for you. From what I understand about Mr. Lu, he’s loved you for so many years now, he’d never give up in the last minute… So right now, I’ve no clue why he would suddenly stop waiting…
“The other day, he called me in the morning to ask me to help him divert the negative news. At the time, he only thought about you… But then, this morning when I woke up, I received this email. I tried to call him but nobody picked up.”
Qiao Anhao furrowed her brows,catching the meaning behind the assistant’s words. “He diverted the scandal?”
“Yeah…” The assistant sighed lightly again. “Did you really think that someone leaked the scandal about Mr. Lu being an illegitimate child? Mr. Lu has worked the entertainment industry for many years and no one ever dared to leak any gossip about him. So how would anyone come out and leak his background?”
After hearing this, it was like Qiao Anhao had vaguely understood something, and her hand subconsciously gripped tightly onto her sleeve.
She didn’t want to listen anymore, but the assistant spoke with a neutral tone, thrusting the blood-drenched truth in front of her. “It was Mr. Lu who personally leaked the information. In the entertainment industry, when bad news gets out, you either call public relations to handle it or cover it up with another person’s scandal to divert the public’s attention.
“At the time, the public was pointing their fingers at you and saying that you’d taken drugs. There were already quite a few people who started gossiping about you, and the situation was only going to get worse. Worse comes to worst, it would affect your personal life, while as to work in the entertainment industry, you have to have a mental endurance here.
“But Mr. Lu just didn’t have the heart to let the power of the internet affect you this way. Nor did he want it to affect your career as an actress, and so he chose to divert the audience’s attention on himself to lessen the damage on your reputation.
“In truth, Mr. Lu knew full well that if he gave the news outlet information about himself, then it’d be the same as showing other people his flaws and weaknesses. He knew that other negative news about him would leak out after, but he still did it to protect you. He used himself to redirected the internet’s devastating power away from you.” As the assistant said this, he smiled, and then asked in a particularly flat tone, “He’s so stupid, isn’t he?”
